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From: "John Olson" <OLSOJ@Corelli.Augustana.AB.CA>
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Organization: Augustana University College
To: aucfaculty@augustana.ab.ca
Date: Sat, 9 Mar 1996 20:31:47 MDT
Subject: CBC Double Exposure's "Real Country" speech
CC: Kristjon_Olson@epsb.edmonton.ab.ca
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Double Exposure Transcripts
A REAL COUNTRY ?
BOB SHARPLES: From his office at the national assembly in Quebec
City here's a special
message from the Premier of Quebec, Lucien Bouchard.
(MUSIC)
"I must in all honesty tell you that I couldn't live in Canada,
because it's not a real country.
They don't play real football in Canada. They have three downs and
extra points and very high scores. They should have four downs and
lots of time-outs and low scores. That's what a real country would
have...they don't play real hockey in Canada. You have to look so hard
just to see
the tiny black puck. They should have a puck with a blue glow and a
red streak following it. That's what a real country would have...they
don't have real television in Canada...they have Anne of Green Gables,
and North of 60 and Man Alive. They should have Geraldo, and Rush
Limbaugh, and Baywatch. That's what a real country would have...they
don't have real radio in Canada. They have Morningside, and As it
Happens, and even Double Exposure. They should have Howard Stern and
Gordon Liddy and heavy metal. That's what a real country would
have...they don't have real uses for nuclear power in Canada. They use
it for lighting people's houses! They should be out there testing it
in the Pacific Ocean to see how big an explosion it can make. That's
what a real country would do...they don't have real guns in Canada. A
few people have some rifles...a few have shotguns. Every citizen
should be allowed to stock up with 45's and 357's and 22's. That's
what a real country would do...they don't have real soldiers in
Canada. They spend their whole time acting like friendly policemen.
They never fire at anyone. they should order them to attack small
countries all the time, getting rid of dictators and foreign leaders.
That's what a real country would do...it's crazy to provide equal
health care for every citizen in the country. People should be made to
pay for their health care. That's what a real country would do. And
how silly can you get to ask the leader of a country to stand up every
day and answer questions about what he's been doing. Instead, they
should be left alone to hold meetings and make all their decisions
without being questioned. That's what a real country would do. And
listen to this, no matter how bad the crime, Canadians don't kill
people. Instead, all criminals should be
hanged or shot, or put to sleep. That's what a real country would
do...you see my friends, I want to live in a real country. Not a
country where the winters are always cold. Not a country where the
airports are always filled with thousands of people who want to move
here. Not a country where they force you to pay people at least a
minimum wage. Not a country where natives are going to get their land
back from the government. Not a country where english and french are
accepted everywhere. Not a country where people of all ethnic
backgrounds are respected. Not a country where the poor places are
helped out by the rich places. These things don't happen in a real
country. They only happen in Canada, and I find that very very sad.
and that's why i tell you today, I'm going to have my own country. I
couldn't live in Canada. Canada is not a real country."
Back to Double Exposure
Return to CBC Radio Homepage
info@www.radio.cbc.ca
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